I hate
when I want to be pissed off at something, but so many people already fucking
bitch about it that if I do, I'll just seem to be following the trend or
jumping on the band wagon. I hate shit though, and I love whinging about it
like a little bitch, so why must I be deprived of the joy one gets from tearing
others down? It's not fair I tell you, not fair at all.
Case in
Point: You know that little bowl cut fag Justin Bieber? Yeah, he's an asshole.
A little because he has enough money to buy Uganda at the age of like 12, and
partially because he’s a pre-pubescent little douche who made the afore
mentioned money repeating the word "Baby" three times, followed by
"Oh". Are you kidding me? Hoes have been saying that mid-coitus for
fucking years and none of them are hanging out with Usher. But I can't really
say all that now, can I? people have beaten the shit out of that little kid
online for years already, and it's still the go-to meme to make when wanting a
few sweet likes on Facebook. Even now, writing this on my own god damn blog, I
guarantee there are some of you thinking "Come on Lomez, you handsome
devil, give us something we haven’t already been anally pillaged with".
Well I'm sorry, but the little guy fires me up.
 |
| Oh, I get it, 'coz he's super feminine looking... |
Also, he
says semi black words like "Dog", but in that African American way,
you know, with a "W" in there and shit. You're a 5ft White kid, man!
Sort your fucking life out, and maybe spend some of your many moneys on
linguistic lessons.
NEXT UP:
Snooki. Little Italian gerbil who likes alcohol and whipping her vagina out in
public somehow gets famous. And some dumb ass kids actually call her a role
model. I'm not even fucking kidding you. I read it myself on Twitter one time.
Seriously. An actual kid actually told Snooki she was her role model....
Actually. GET FUCKED. That doesn't even make sense. What role is she the model
for exactly?
 |
| What do you get when you guzzle down drinks? Drinking as much as an elephant drinks? |
Don't get
me wrong, she loves to party, I love to party, we would probably get along. The
point here is, kids should not aspire to be a drunk oompa loompa. They just
shouldn't. But once again, that has been dragged through the mud like Hector
round the gates of Troy was by Brad Pitt. (You like that Troy reference? Yeah
you do. Yeeeeaaaaah you do.). Why can't people just piss off and let me be
angry in public first, and then I can be the smug one getting all uptight about
people repeating MY shit? From now on, the second something fires me up, I'm
tweeting that shit, and claiming it for all of time. 'Coz we all know twitter
is law these days...
LAST ONE:
Hipsters are actually what started all this. I saw one. It was wearing the
classic senseless glasses, the scarf, the vintage jacket, the chucks, the
gayness, more gayness, the whole shabang. Shebang? I don't know. First off,
you're not alternative if you're all wearing the same shit. Alternative
suggests difference to the norm. If you are the norm, you are not alternative.
Also, scarfs, which I have a number of issues with I may have to cover at a
later date, are always unnecessary. I know people have used them for years, but
there’s no FUCKING point in them. I've honestly NEVER worn one, or even thought
"Fuck I wish I had a Scarf." If I had thought that, it would have
been followed by "And a vagina filled with a bag of dicks". And I'm a
bitch, man. Just the other day I ate pork and spewed/shat myself into oblivion.
If my neck can handle a scarfless life, so can yours, Hipsters. I fucking swear
it.
|
||
BUUUUT
once again, Hipsters are already a victim of Keyboard heroism. Online Hercules'
spend hours trolling these bastards, and have pretty much stolen all of the
good jokes, so I have to leave it alone. BUT I DON'T WANNA! I like being mad,
and I like people having to listen to it. I also like to be original, but since
I'm not, how about everyone just cracks their jokes around me in private, and
I'll steal them for the glory of online recognition. Deal? Deal.
Do you
like how I just blogged about not being able to rage at things because other
people have beaten me to it, but then went ahead and did it anyway? Yeah, that
was a bit of a dick move. Also kind of supports my assertion that I'm not
original at all... Probably not a good way to keep the readers rolling in,
right? Well too bad, folks. Lomez wanted to troll various overly trolled
things, and so he did just that. Don't like it? Don't read.
Kidding,
still read. I may one day mention something you agree with enough to tweet me
something profound like "Hah, I also hate the word flange. We have things
in common."
Anyway, I
think we have both wasted enough of your time.
Stay
Classy,
Kyo
